The Coin
The pandemic has been a reminder of our interconnectedness and of our common shared experiences, of the causes and effects of even the smallest actions. Kindness and empathy are powerful human impulses with the potential to change how we treat each other. Children often know and practice empathy intuitively… they know when something is amiss or just wrong.
Niña Ngäbe © UNHCR /Lucas Iturriza
One of my favorite things to do growing up, was going shopping with my mom. Seeing different people fascinated me. But there was this one stop, the market stop, I didn’t like at all. Depending on where you walked, you could smell the sweet aroma of ripe fruits, the fresh vegetables, salty fish and seafood, spices and herbs, baked goods and food. And at times you could smell the not very pleasant combination of all of them at the same time.
As you walk through the narrow aisles, you can see hundreds of fruits and vegetables of all colors and sizes fresh from the countryside, and you can see people haggling over prices, bustling fruit vendors yelling the price and what they offer. Sellers invite you to try their products and touch them "so you feel they’re ripe." It is an explosion for the senses.
I remember that I liked avoiding the cracks on the colonial sidewalk. I was jumping over one when I suddenly saw the penetrating gaze of a woman sitting on the ground, nursing her baby. I remember feeling very confused and feeling a wave that started on my chest and immediately spread through my whole body: how is that woman sitting there, on the sidewalk, feeding her baby? What a beautiful dress she is wearing! Why do people ignore her? Why is she making noise with the coins in that little paper cup?
Madre © UNHCR/Lucas Iturriza
Immersed in the trance of the swaying sound of the paper cup with coins, I remembered that I had some in my pocket. Sometimes, before going shopping, we would stop and visit my dear grandparents and we would all have lunch. At the end of the visit, they would call me to their room and tell me: "have a few coins, my dear, get yourself some ice cream". And they would dismiss me and say our goodbyes ending with their blessing.
As I move through the market, I start to go towards the woman when “whoosh”! The man from the avocado stand intervenes, "Do not approach them, they have lice and carry many diseases." I immediately stop, surprised and annoyed that a stranger would tell me what to do. Defiantly, I turn my gaze to my mother and with her head she signals for me to keep going and give my precious coin to the woman.
Excited and smiling I start to go towards her. Seeing my approach, the woman lowers her gaze, her baby stuck to her breasts, eating. I notice spots on their skin, the slight scent of smoke. Without looking at me, the woman stops the movement of the paper cup. I throw the coin inside and wait – nothing happens. My mother who, although talking with the man from the avocado stand, was still aware of my interaction with the woman. With a gesture she calls me back.
Distraught by the situation, I return to her side. I meet the look of the man, who clearly has not appreciated being contradicted by a “spoiled brat" and her "over-indulgent mother". Triumphant and defiantly, I told him: “Sir, I have been told not to go near stray dogs because ‘they have fleas and carry diseases’, but I still approach them and I have never gotten sick. I even got bitten and still, I keep playing with them”.
The man looks at me with disdain and his mocking smile disappears. He takes his money, we grab the bag, we say our “gracias”, he says his “con gusto” and we continue on our way.
Meanwhile, restless and confused, I keep walking, holding my mother’s hand, and thinking: why did that annoying old man tell me the same thing I have been told about dogs, but this time, referring to a woman and her baby? I notice a feeling of revulsion in my stomach.
“Maaaa, why was the woman with the beautiful dress asking for money sitting on the sidewalk?”
“Because she needs to feed her baby,” my mother answered.
“But she had that beautiful dress!” I quickly said.
“That is because she is an indigenous woman and in their community they wear those pretty dresses, my love. They come from Panama to harvest the coffee.”
“Mmm, she didn't even speak to me when I tried to approach her.”
“Easy, my love, that’s because she doesn't speak Spanish.”
...
“Ugh! I did not like that old man at all!”
With a smile on her face, my mom locks her eyes on mine in complicity and we laugh together as we keep going our way through the busy market.
Kindness is action we can all develop and it is proven to be highly contagious. In small acts of kindness one can actually apply degrees of non-violent resistance (Satyagraha) and create shared positive emotions while transforming society in every decision and action through our everyday life.